 My paternal side of my family was born with excellent physical constitutions that included vibrant health, healthy bones, and good teeth, but through poor lifestyle choices, five brothers died before their mother who died at 101 and the remaining two have suffered ill health. My maternal side, however, has a history of cancer, which in part means my constitution is not as naturally strong as I’d like it to be.
In saying that, I am 52 and feel fantastic! I became vegan mid-2011 and felt better for it. It has taken me a while to work out what foods are needed to complete my nutrition and also how to feed my husband, given we are from different cultures, have different genes, different gender, different sizes, etc. After talking to many people, (especially in Australia) the number one thing I hear is; my Grandpa or Uncle or Dad could drink and smoke excessively, and party ’til the cows came home and still lived to the ripe old ages with little or no consequences. So I don’t believe you. What they don’t understand is those old folks of theirs are living off the strength of their ancestral lineage. Proof has sadly come to a few of them, who ended up with cancer before their fiftieth birthdays. Then only do they get it. Unfortunately, many more young people are developing chronic and debilitating sicknesses earlier in life, making each passing generation weaker. Why do you think this is the case? • Lifestyle choices • Malnutrition • Drug Abuse • The overuse of antibiotics I have written a publication called “IMMUNE BOOSTER” in which I address the above topics. It is available at www.ayolanihill.com Illness and disease are on the rise. Every year there is some new bug, and it is time to take a more serious look at how to strengthen our immune system before it is too late. Talk of ‘good stock’; I believe that stock is the liquid gold created through the alchemy of cooking animal bones. I know both my maternal and paternal grandmothers made stock and did not waste natural resources, as food was scarce at times. They used every part of the animal, not just the prime cuts. Bones, feet, skin, and scraps too were boiled in water, creating a vitamin and mineral-rich liquid. Do you remember those days? Tradition in many cultures alluded to bone stock as a cure-all for anyone sick or weak. It was traditionally used to cure the flu, colds, digestive problems, bone loss, joint pain, skin disorders, muscles weakness, blood deficiency, and many other ailments. My grandparents grew up in Africa during the great depression in the 1900s. They often talked about how they ate on a small budget. A meal was made up of just bones, no meat, for mere pennies, mixed with a cabbage and a couple of potatoes. With those three ingredients, plus water, soup was a regular dish on their tables. That simple bone and vegetable soup not only nourished the family so they could survive the depression but also kept them quite healthy and vigorous. This meal was a favourite in many homes across the country. They believed stock contains a wealth of nutrients including gelatin, marrow, cartilage, collagen, amino acids, minerals, and trace minerals. Besides being nutritionally beneficial, stock is used in many professional kitchens as the base for soups, sauces, and gravies, due to its ravishing taste and gourmand appreciation. Many people spend hundreds (even thousands) of dollars on glucosamine and chondroitin supplements to help heal their arthritic and bone woes. Stock contains these elements, organically and is very simple to make, so why not make it? So what about vegans? For vegans I make potassium broth: • 4 organic, well-scrubbed potatoes • 3 organic carrots, peeled and chopped • 4 organic celery stalks, chopped • 1 bunch organic parsley • 4 quarts filtered water Instructions: Peel potatoes. Place the potato peelings, carrots, and celery in a large pot with the filtered water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 30 minutes. Add parsley and simmer for five more minutes. Cool and strain the finished potassium broth into glass containers in the refrigerator, reheating small amounts as needed. Add 1 TBL whey to each cup for a big boost to mineral assimilation. Potassium broth freezes beautifully, so freeze what you will not use in about one week.
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 Are you one of those people who rush ahead of yourself? Do you create mountains of mental stress that is draining your energy and paralyzes you from functioning well? It’s not a productive or healthy way to be, but it is a normal way of life for many. After the attacks on the World Trade Center, September 11th in New York City, people were pretty shaken up. People were scared and even suffering from the mental stress of the possibility of another attack on the city and having a hard time functioning. Some could barely get to work in the morning, and were afraid of everything because their thoughts of another terrorist attack were consuming them. Some couldn’t even travel on the subway anymore, thinking “what if there’s another attack on the city and I’m on the subway…. I won’t be able to get out…. I might suffocate down there, and I could get trampled by other people… I can’t be underground when it happens again… I just can’t do it. I don’t want to die underground!!!” I understand what they were going through, as I have experienced fear first hand through two earthquakes. The truth is, there certainly could be another attack in New York. It is a city that is a high profile target. The fact is, the entire city could be destroyed the next time. Even though New York City is considered one of the biggest cities in the world, it’s relatively small in size. Did you know that high stress, and prolonged stress, perhaps better termed as chronic stress leads to adrenal fatigue and that can cause hair to fall out? Well, why get to that? You see there is no point worrying about New York getting hit again when you could cross the road and get run over by a car. You may live, but with no legs, which means you lose your job, you lose your income, you lose your apartment. “Oh my, that sounds awful!” “Yes, it is terrible! But… what is the truth here?” “The fact is… you are sitting somewhere and reading this blog. None of that stuff that I have just described happened. Yes, the possibility of that can happen – just like anything can happen at any time. But, if we live in the world of potential future catastrophes we can’t possibly live happily and healthfully in the world right now.” The kind of emotional stress that you are suffering with, that is making you sick to the gut, making your hair fall out in clumps, is all in your mind. You are stuck up there somewhere in your own world, spinning around and around and around, because you’ve lost sight of the truth. The truth can help you find your way, and set you free from anxiety. The Bible says it beautifully in John 8:32, “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” It takes practice to get out of your head and get into the now, especially, after a traumatic event. It seems many of us are either in the future, fretting or worrying about what could happen, or stuck in the past and depressed about what already happened, and we can’t move forward from it. “Not being present is not a healthy way to be, and it can drain the life out of you.” Here are some quick tips to help you get present: Breathe: When people grow anxious and find themselves rushing ahead into the future, the first wise thing to do is focus on breathing and slowing the breath. If you think it sounds too simple, try it right now. Focus your attention on following the inhalation of your breath from your nose all the way down into your belly. And, then follow your breath up and out of your body, exiting out of your nostrils. Do that ten times. It’s very calming and relaxing. Breath is life. When you follow your breath, you are following the flow of life. Meditate on scripture: The Bible has been around for a while and is the most sold book in the world. I love reading through the Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, but there are many other interesting reads. Feel free to ask for more pointers. Seek the Truth: What is happening right now at this very moment? You are reading a blog and learning information about staying present. You’ll get all the information you need at exactly the right time that you need it. That’s the truth. Keep your eye on it. Catastrophes are going to happen, as they are a part of life. But, if you’re not present in between disasters, you’re going to miss out on a lot of living happily and healthfully while you are here. If you find your mind spinning out of control and taking you to events that haven’t happened yet, try the three simple techniques above and see if it helps to set you free. You deserve a beautiful happy and healthy life – get present and give it to yourself.  Do you feel as if you have been up all night? You can’t seem to get going in the morning, or regain your energy no matter what you do?
This is the first sign that you could be suffering from adrenal fatigue. This condition occurs in both the “unhealthiest” and in the “healthiest” people. Anyone can experience adrenal fatigue at some point in his or her life. Nutrient deficiencies, inadequate rest, a demanding job, an extremely mental job, a life crisis, or too many pressures, can all drain the adrenals of even the healthiest person. Adrenal glands are part of the endocrine system. They produce estrogen, progesterone, cortisol, cortisone, adrenalin, epinephrine, norepinephrine, and dopamine. Our adrenals help us cope with everyday stress and survival and are involved in the recovery of chronic diseases, energy levels, and endurance. The quality of our health depends on the optimum functioning of our adrenals. Symptoms indicating your adrenals may need some TLC:
Cortisol helps your body deal with stress and curbs inflammation. Without enough cortisol, you may experience increased infections, nausea, and changes in blood pressure and blood sugar. Adrenal gland syndrome results when your adrenal glands can no longer meet your body’s demands for cortisol.” And, if too much cortisol is circulating in your system, the opposite can happen – you can experience anxiety, restlessness and an inability to sleep. Many foods, substances, and other factors can exacerbate adrenal stress:
To reclaim our energy it’s imperative to reduce stress, get adequate sleep, and support the body with wholesome foods. Adrenal recovery can take anywhere from three months to three years depending on the severity of the condition. Don’t panic… as long as you are alive and breathing you can improve any condition. We need to learn how to be patient with our beautiful machine, built by our maker. It self heals, but at a pace that is not accepted by modern society – slowly. But as the saying goes, “slowly but surely, wins the race”. Some tips to begin your healing process:
play a huge part in your health. It can support you or drain you. Avoiding stress producers like unhealthy relationships, or learning how to deal with those people more effectively would be a good idea, too. Eliminating on workloads that can be avoided. (I am a workaholic and don’t know when to stop sometimes.) I am learning. Adrenal Fatigue indicates a “deficiency.” Just like your daily diet, your body, mind and emotions may be running on empty. Where do you need to fill up? Begin asking these questions:
If you need more information and guidance please contact me.  This plant is usually cultivated in warm and tropical regions. It can be consumed throughout the year and can be eaten fried, cooked and boiled.
Okra contains 7.6g. carbs, 80 micrograms folic acids, 2g. protein, 3g. dietary fiber, 0.1 g fat, 21 mg. vitamin C and 60mg. magnesium and it is low in calorie. HEALTH BENEFITS OF OKRA: • Prevents kidney stones. • Controls diabetes. • Reduces cholesterol. • Boost the immune system. • Eases asthma. • Lowers the amount of glucose absorbed from food. IMMUNE SYSTEM Okra is rich in vitamin C and antioxidants, which the components are huge for immune boosting and assisting the body against unsafe free radicals. Vitamin C stimulates the immune system in creating more white blood cells, which can help battle foreign pathogens and matter in the body. KIDNEY DISEASE Regularly eating okra can assist in preventing kidney disease. A 2005 study published in the Jilin Medical Journal found patients who ate okra daily, reduced clinical signs of kidney damage more than those who were on a diabetic diet. This is helpful since nearly half of kidney disease cases are developed from diabetes. RECIPE • Okra (cut in pieces) • Lukewarm water Wash the okra, cut a few into pieces and put it into a glass. Top up with lukewarm water and leave the glass to sit, covered overnight. Consume this mixture 30 minutes before breakfast to assist your body to control your blood sugar levels and improve your overall health.  When I first began studying natural healing several years ago, a visiting lecturer who was also a health practitioner said to the class, “Look at the person to the right of you, and look at the person on the left. Twenty years from now, one out of three people will be diagnosed with cancer. Out of you three, who is it going to be?”
As it turns out, the practitioner was right on target. Our cancer rates are growing at an astronomical rate. Alone in my family those statistics have proved spot on and the world statistics are staggering. Every time I hear the news of another death, the cause is usually cancer. In the span of one week, David Bowie died from liver cancer, Alan Rickman died from pancreatic cancer and Celine Dion’s husband and her brother both died of complications with throat cancer. I’m sure in your own life you know someone right now that has been diagnosed with cancer. According to the American Cancer Society below are some statistics for 2016:
From the orthodox healthcare perspective, cancer needs to be eradicated by cutting it out, burning it with radiation or poisoning it with toxic chemotherapy. All of that treatment inevitably cuts, burns and poisons the host of the cancer as well. From a natural healthcare perspective, cancer is viewed as stagnation. Either physical, emotional, energetic, or spiritual, the blood is not flowing properly within the body. (Creating dirty blood, an acidic environment.) One of the ways to work with cancer is to support the body with diet and lifestyle improvements to get the blood cleaned and flowing properly, which will help clear the disease from the system. Where natural medicine excels is in the area of prevention. I use the seven natural doctors, which are NEW START:
I’m not saying that if you take precautions with your health, diet and lifestyle that you won’t get cancer. The truth is you probably have cancer cells in your system right now. We all do. But, when the body and its organs are nourished and flowing, there is less risk that those cancer cells will accumulate to become problematic. The interesting thing about cancer is that it is cells that have gone awry. Cells are born and cells die: cancer cells refuse to die. Cancer certainly is a very difficult subject, and it can bring up a LOT of anger. Which is understandable. But, on the emotional level of healing, suppressed anger can damage physical cells and stop them from functioning properly. So don’t suppress your anger. Get angry, but use that negative energy in a healthy way to promote healing for you. Go and take a run; go for a long walk in nature; get a soothing massage. The idea is to relax you and activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which will increase vitality and facilitate your body’s own healing process. Don’t wait for your statistical turn with cancer, or any other disease for that matter. Do everything possible that you can to prevent cancer from taking up permanent residence in your body. Here are eight suggestions you can start using right now to help get your body on track:
 Most people have never been taught, that they actually need to chew their food and pulverize it with their own saliva to properly digest it. If we do NOT chew our food we risk indigestion, acid reflux, IBS, bloating, gas, weight gain, diabetes and autoimmune thyroid conditions. (Hashimotos and Graves.) I had a client who came to see me, as she could not understand why she gained close on to 25KG in one year. That is fairly excessive I am sure you’ll agree. As we talked it dawned on me that she was not overeating, her primary foods seemed balanced and she was otherwise in a good place. I asked her to try to focus on chewing her food. She was very shocked at my suggestion and said, really Ayolani, at my age I think I know how to chew my food. I said, “okay, I felt the same way when I first heard this during my training, but was surprised when I actually on my chewing. So, for the next two weeks I want you to focus on chewing your food. Let me know how many times you actually chew something before swallowing it. And, let’s see if you can get to twenty-five chews per mouthful.” I got a call from her a few days later and she told me she couldn’t believe it! She noticed that she chewed only three or four times, before swallowing. Now what do you think that means? That means whole pieces of un-chewed food were sliding right down her throat and loading her digestive system. We simply can’t process food the way lions, tigers and sharks can, yet that is what most people are doing. In order to heal any digestive disorders, we NEED to start with CHEWING our food properly. When we chew, the parotid gland releases enzymes into the mouth that combine with saliva and helps us start the process of digestion. Over 70% of our immune system lives in our gut. If the gut is out of balance, immunity can be compromised on many levels. To support and heal autoimmune conditions, digestive problems need to be addressed. When people begin chewing food they naturally eat less, feel more satisfied, digest food better, lose weight (if needed) and heal their body. Chewing is the miraculous cure that most professional are not talking about. Is there any reason why that’s the case? Is it because it doesn’t cost any money to chew food which means no-one can make money from this simple step to improving gut health? We were designed very intelligently and our bodies are made to self heal. So no purchasing any expensive supplements or digestive enzymes. Simply chew your food to activate the digestive enzymes you are naturally born with. And the best part, chewing is absolutely FREE! What have you got to lose, go on try chomping your food…  At age 4 Wilma Rudolph contracted polio. At age nine, she amazed doctors when she removed her metal leg brace and began to walk without it. When she was 13, Wilma decided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years, every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on. Then one day, she won a race … and then another … and then every race she entered thereafter. Eventually, in the1960 Summer Olympics in Rome, she went on to win three Olympic gold medals in track and field! Wilma chose activity over atrophy (weakness) and became a winner. Likewise, your body is a miraculous machine, but if you don’t use it, you will lose it. Lets take a quick look at The Human Physiology and What happens to the body during exercise? The entire body is affected. Muscle fibers contract and release, the heart pumps more rapidly, and the lungs work harder to get more oxygen to the body. These actions trigger increased enzyme reactions, nerve stimulations, metabolic enhancement, and more. Exercise is an awesome event! A much needed event for your body to function at it’s best! Many who depend upon the movement-cure could, by exercise, accomplish more for themselves than the movements can do for them. Furthermore need of exercise causes the bowels to become enfeebled and shrunken. Exercise will strengthen these organs that have become enfeebled. Exercise can help you to:
Did you know there are two different types of muscles? Muscles involved in anaerobic (needing minimal oxygen) exercise are known as “fast twitch” muscles. To increase your strength, these muscles must be challenged with a task they haven’t been required to accomplish before. These muscles “learn,” enlarging to strengthen in case they run into the same task again. Weight training that focuses on lifting heavier weights with less frequency targets these muscles. “Slow twitch” muscles are responsible for endurance activities and are used in aerobic exercise. (Needing lots of oxygen) Although they don’t “bulk up,” they are responsible for significant calorie burning. So you could run, power walk, swim or simply get into your garden and sweat whilst working in God’s nature and making something beautiful! I personally enjoy a mix of activities. From walking to running, to stand up paddling, playing tennis, rock climbing or even just stretching. (I have now bought a konga DVD and am loving it in the privacy of my lounge room..) What exercise do would I advice anyone of any age to do? Probably walking. Why? Because in walking, all the muscles are brought into action. Blood circulation is also greatly improved through walking and the active use of the limbs will be of the greatest advantage to invalids. They used to say heart fitness is best achieved through exercise that keeps your heart rate at a consistent pace. To get your heart as healthy as possible, your pulse rate needs to stay between 50 to 75 percent of your target rate during sustained aerobic activity. I believe Interval training is great to strengthen your heart, however, if you would like to stick to keeping your pulse rate between 50 to 75 percent of your target rate, check out the calculation below... Your specific rate can be calculated using the formula below: 220 (Which is the heart rate max) - (Your age) = target heart rate in beats per minute. Example: I am 35 right? lol (220 - 35 = 185 beats per minute.) If you are 21 your target heart rate will be 199 if you are 53 it will be 167 if you are 49 it will be 163 and so on… HOW DO YOU MEASURE THIS? Start your exercise and when you feel your heart rate is up, then stop and measure your pulse counting the beats in a minute. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and get healthy. I promise you, you will feel amazing!  If you’re looking for a “dream job” that’s meaningful and satisfying, what should you actually look for? What is a fulfilling career?
To find a fulfilling career, do what contributes to the world. When asked to imagine their dream job, people often think of work that’s well paid, easy, and involves their interests. Weighing up what research says about job satisfaction, these are the key factors to look for are: 1. Work you’re good at 2. Work that helps others 3. Engaging work that lets you enter a state of flow 4. Colleagues you get on with 5. A job that meets your basic needs, like fair pay and reasonable hours. 6. A job that fits with the rest of your life. 7. Is it sedentary, physical, mental sedentary, mentally active, and what kind of person are you? I sum this up with my motto for a fulfilling career: do what contributes. If you’re looking for a “dream job” that’s meaningful and satisfying, what should you actually look for? What kind of career should you aim for over the coming years? The usual way to answer this question is just picture yourself in different jobs, and think about how fulfilling they seem. “A Doctor? A Waitress? A Teacher? A Sport Coach? Think back on times when you’ve been especially fulfilled, then try to figure out what those times had in common. Two overrated goals for a fulfilling career. People often imagine their dream job is well paid and easy. This is the common list for most people looking for a career: 1. Is it highly paid? 2. Is it going to be highly paid in the future? (Outlook) 3. Is it not stressful? 4. Is the working environment not unpleasant? Money makes you happier, but only a little... It’s a cliché that “you can’t buy happiness”, but at the same time, financial security is among most people’s top career priorities. When people are asked what would most improve the quality of their lives, the most common answer is more money. Research has shown that money does make you happy, but only a little. DON'T AIM FOR LOW STRESS Lots of people say they want to “find something that’s not too stressful.” And it’s true that in the past, it was widely thought that stress was clearly bad. Some research shows that leaders show lower levels of stress: a study of high ranking government and military leaders found they had lower levels of stress hormones and less anxiety, despite sleeping fewer hours, managing more people and having higher demands. One widely supported explanation is that their greater sense of control protects them against the greater demands of the position. Having no or few demands placed on you is bad – that’s boring. Having lots of demands placed on you is bad if you don’t have the power to deal with them: that causes harmful stress. The best place to be is where the demands placed on you match your abilities – that’s a fulfilling challenge and that is me right there. I am a workaholic and place high demands on myself and feel exhilarated when I complete each task and see the results. I must say however, I do realise that I must start to change my pace, before my pace changes me. The message of all this is that seeking out an “easy” job is not what to focus on. Instead, seek out these supportive conditions, then challenge yourself. What should you aim for in a fulfilling job? I believe the key ingredients of wellbeing (The Primary Foods) are: • Relationships – supportive friends and family - Positive emotion – feeling happy day-to-day. • Spirituality – Meaningful for you – having a purpose higher than yourself. • Career – that you love - achievement – being good at what you do - Engagement – having challenging, absorbing tasks. • Physical Activity – feeling strong, energized - healthy I’ve applied these factors to my analysis of what to look for in a job, and combined them with the research that focuses especially on job satisfaction, to come up with six key elements for fulfilling work. 1. Work that’s engaging Engaging work is work that draws you in, holds your attention, and gives you a sense of flow. It breaks down into these four factors: 1. Freedom to decide how the work is done. 2. Clear tasks, with a clearly defined start and end 3. Variety, work that involves many different types of task. 4. Feedback, so you know how well you’re doing. They’re also important if you have “high growth needs” 2. Work that helps others. A fulfilling career needs work that is meaningful as well as engaging. These jobs, however, are seen as meaningful by almost everyone who does them: • Fire service officer • Nurse midwife • Addiction counselor • Neurosurgeon • Medical Missionary • Massage Therapist – to name a few There’s a growing body of evidence that helping others is a key ingredient of having a satisfying life, whether it’s through your work, charity, volunteering, or helping your family and friends. 3. Work that you’re good at Being good at your work gives you a sense of achievement, one of the five ingredients of life satisfaction mentioned above. It also gives you the power to negotiate for the other components of a fulfilling job, such as the ability to work on meaningful projects and undertake engaging tasks. If people value your contribution, you can ask for these conditions in return. 4. Work with people you like Good relationships are another ingredient of life satisfaction, and it seems pretty obvious that if you hate your colleagues and you work with a difficult boss, you’re not going to be satisfied. So this last factor is a reminder to consider how your career fits with the rest of your life. The aim is to have a fulfilling life, and your career is only one part of that. CUSTOMISING THE LIST If you want to find fulfilling work, these six factors are where we recommend you start. However, what’s most important will vary from person to person, and there may be other factors that are especially important to you, so we also recommend making a personalised list. To do this, think back on times when you’ve been most fulfilled in the past. • What do those times have in common? • Are there some extra ingredients you should add to the list? • Can you make any of the factors more specific? • What types of people do you best get on with? • In which activities do you get most absorbed? Should you just follow your passion? Besides being highly paid and easy, people often imagine a dream job should involve their passion – their greatest interest. For instance, if you love basketball, then the ideal job would be something that involves basketball, whether as a player, a coach, a promoter or something else. “Follow your passion” has become one of the defining pieces of career advice of our time. A Simple Exercise 1. Write down a couple of jobs you think you’d find especially fulfilling. 2. Rate them from one to five on each of the six factors. 3. Did you change your mind about which is best? 4. Make your own personalised list of factors for fulfilling work. Here are some prompts: a. When have you been most fulfilled in the past? b. What did these times have in common? c. Imagine you found out you'll die in exactly ten years. d. What would you do?  LIE # 1
"I can't turn my husband on because I'm not as young, thin, attractive, sexy or interesting anymore." This usually happens when a woman no longer feels comfortable about herself, so she starts to beat herself up about it. Women are pretty good at looking for what is wrong with themselves or what needs improving, rather than on what's right or good. If I asked you what you don’t like about yourself I will get a long list of things… “my behind, my legs, my breasts, my eyebrows, my saggy skin, my nose, my ears… and the list goes on and on”. This is a sad reality brought on by expectations of what a woman should look like as portrayed in the media. Adverts of skin care, fashion and even food are advertised with women wearing minimal clothing, made up to the brim, and falsified from head to toe and even then the pictures are airbrushed before they hit the media. What this is portraying is women must look perfect at all times. If I asked a man what he does not like about himself, he will say "nothing. I am happy just the way I am” at the most he may say he would like to lose a bit of weight. Do you see that this is a gender issue? I have asked men what they look for in a woman and I was surprised how many men said “a confident woman.” I went on to prompt them on the subject of looks, body size, hair or eye colour, age, intellect and the answer was "I don’t mind what colour hair she has, I don't really mind a chubby or thin girl, the eye colour is not important, as long as she has confidence and carries herself with ease." Now this may come as a surprise to you, but this was across all ages and intellects. Of course the odd characters, or the immature men wanted the big breasts, the drop dead gorgeous model looking babe, the rich woman, etc. (Both men and women want to feel attracted to their partner.) Ladies, lets start being more positive about ourselves, which will in turn help our marriages. Be more positive and think thoughts that are going to make you feel good about yourself instead of thinking and believing thoughts that make you feel bad. Go on try it! What have you got to lose? You have way more to lose by keeping a negative mindset. Lie # 2 Any version of the following thoughts... "My husband always…" "My husband never…" "My husband should…" "My husband doesn't…" I am sure you are capable of inserting any of your dominant negative thoughts about your husband in the blank spaces. Can you relate to this? You see we are brought up believing men are what we heard our mothers or other women say they are… Here's and example of what I'm talking about... "Florence" an old friend of mine, was having the worst time of her life, (according to her) whilst married to a man who did not work, but did nothing around the house either. Each day she would come home from work, walk in the door and start… “Another day to come home to this mess and a husband who has done nothing, I have worked hard and all you can do is sit on your rear end and wait for me to bring home the money and do everything. I am too tired to clean the house or the yard and I would love to be able to relax, have a cup of tea… and…” Well, she was so tired of this she came to see me and told me everything that was happening at home and was really going through all the emotions one can think of. Anger, frustration, anxiety... I asked her why she was still with him if she felt so hard done by and unloved and she said “because I love him”. This is where we needed to make some changes to her dominant negative thoughts about her husband. I suggested to her when those thoughts came up to change them to the positive thoughts about him when they first met. I then suggested when she got in from work the next day to change her language toward him. This is what happened over the next week. Day 1 Florence: Hi darling, how was your day? (As she kissed him) Hubby: It was ok. (with a shocked look) F: Just ok? (as she put her arms around him) why don’t you sit down whilst I make us a cup of tea, so we can sit down and talk about your day. H: Are you ok? F: Of course I am, I am home with you Day 2 F: Hi darling, I had a great day at work, how about you? (as she kisses him) H: I had a good day too. (as he puts his arms around her) now you sit down whilst I make the tea today F: That will be lovely, thank you Day 3 H: Hi my love (as he greets her at the door with a kiss) how was your day? F: Not as good as now… H: Teas ready as he takes her into the lounge room that has been cleaned, with a bunch of fresh flowers on the table. Day 4 – He woke up and made her breakfast and packed her lunch whist she got ready for work. When she got home the garden was cleaned and cleared Day 5 – He was shaved and dressed up when F got home from work Day 6 – He had a picnic ready for dinner Day 7 – He was talking about getting a job What do you think happened in this marriage? What do you think was the underlying issue in this marriage?  It is not just what you eat, the water you drink, the air you breath, or the fact that you exercise. How about The love in your life?
Lets take a look at the life of a binger. She comes home after work and sits in front of the tele and binges. Would they binge if they had someone to come home to and kiss them hello after a long day at the office – even having a room mate or a friend you can catch up with after work for a walk on the beach, bike ride – or children or grandchildren? The problem is the binger then becomes either overweight, diabetic, depressed or something else, selected from a host of disease’s available on the market. Question! Does this person have a health disorder or a Love deficiency? This is a problem that many people are suffering with today – I call it Lack of VIT L. Today in the field of marriage the breakdown in Australia is, 50% of marriages end in divorce and even people who stay together are not necessarily happy – they are afraid of not being together – of going through financial splitting etc. so it becomes convenient company. We all need vitamin L, but instead we pump ourselves with all the vitamins under the sun, but overlook VIT L, which is one of the most important vitamins for us. With adding VIT L into our daily diet, healing occurs more rapidly! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF “THE ROSETTO EFFECT?” A close-knit community… Rosetto Pennsylvania – was made up of Italian families in the 1950’s 60’s. Dr Stewart who was then head of medicine at the university of Oklahoma became interested in why the people of Rosetto never got heart disease, but instead were dyeing of old age. This was not the case in the surrounding communities that were at the height of heart disease. Whilst they began to look at this community, they thought perhaps it was their DNA, or perhaps the olive oil or red wine. They then decided to take a closer look at their diet and what they found was these people at a lot of pasta, pizza with lots of cheese and fatty meats, meat balls in lard and they drank lots of wine. This did not way up, so they decided to take a closer look at where in Italy they came from and done some extended research on these people. The very interesting factor was, things were not so much the same in their homeland in Italy and concluded with this evidence. Nobody in Rosetto was ever lonely, they lived in multigenerational homes, although they worked hard, after work they all visited and socialized and gathered together. They celebrated a community lifestyle, they did church together, they all chipped in to help anyone who may have had a financial issue, which meant there was no welfare in Rosetto. There was no childcare because all the older women took care of all the children for the mothers to work. There was no loneliness and isolation, which we know leaves people feeling overwhelmed, which in turn puts the nervous system into stress response (Walter Cannon at Harvard called this) fight or flight response, the sympathetic nervous system. This was an amazing study, which proves a great deal to our western culture where everybody is “on their own”. It would be amazing if we could take a page from “The Rosetto Study” and build communities… |
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Photo from Keith Allison
